Hillary sipped her gin and tonic as I gazed at the Egyptian painted on the bottom of the swimming pool. His garb was red, black and a gold band crowned his head with angular black hair.

I had already swum but my hair was drying and my post swim chill was gone. I leaned forward with my towel in my hands, staring at the pool. "I would have been a fabulous Egyptian. Cleopatra would have cried with pleasure at me--- I would have been her official portrait artist." Hillary sat her in lounge chair, quietly thinking, but obliged my comment with a closed-lip grin. "I'll tell you one thing, if I were born an Egyptian, I would have been the same man as I am now."

This captured her interest. "Absolutely the same?"

I nodded. "Well, my hair and nose would have been straighter, and I would have been shorter."

"No other things?"

"I still would have been a fag. I know that's for sure."

"You give yourself too much credit. You're merely a result of genes and society Greg. You don't have that much power."

"That's exactly what I'm saying. We don't have any power. No power, as a matter-of-fact, to change what we are what we are destined to be."

I knew this was dangerous territory, but I didn't want to edit myself.

"You're wrong," said Hillary. "We're destined until something comes along to change that destiny...and something will always come along. That I know! Whether it be an altered gene or an alcoholic mother."

"That's exactly right, something outside yourself, but you can only respond and react from within, not change."

Hillary's defenses woke, "But respond and reaction is change."

"No, it's not"

She lowered her drink. "You don't think Steve can change?"

"Steve?"

"Isn't that what we're really talking about here?"

I looked at her, realizing she was either kidding herself or baiting me to come out and say it. "No, I'm referring to you."

"What are you getting at Greg?"

"Look, I love you Hugo." Hillary paused, her angry face now directly staring me down. She suddenly jumped up and strutted into the house. I quickly followed but I was too late--- she had already slammed the door.

By stepping on the cement bench that attached to the wall I could peek in the kitchen window. I watched her pace. She was getting better at walking in the Candies and as her pool jacket trailed behind her, I could see that her legs were more slender and delicate, but the truth was I knew what was still between those fraudulent legs.

She paced back to the front door, swung it open, and started screaming, "Jesus Christ Greg, I invite you over here for a nice swim to talk and you think you have the right to judge me? Well, you don't. Not once have I asked you if I should do this, NOT ONCE. Your opinion was not asked for."

I stepped down off the bench, "Hey...hey..." I whispered..."Why are you so upset?"

"Because you're arrogant." She wanted to say more, but she abruptly stopped.

"I suppose I am, but wouldn't you rather have an arrogant interested friend than someone who didn't give a shit what you did? I do care Hugo."

"If you call me Hugo one more time, I'm going to ask you to leave. Do you hear me?"

"All I'm saying is that no matter what you call yourself, no matter what you do to your physical body, it won't change who you are or what you feel."

"You know Greg, sometimes if you just simply put a smile on your face, you can feel better."

"But that's a Band-Aid."

"And Band-Aids help you heal."

"Fine, except major surgery is a pretty hefty Band-Aid."

The room was silent, the air heavy. Like a lot of gay men, I had trouble with transgenders--- particularly a friend who was embarking on this journey. I know I wasn't exactly being PC, but I was being honest.

With the tension getting worse, suddenly I blurted out, "Well, how about a new dress?"

This got a smile from my friend Hillary.

"I know you mean well, and I love you too, but I'm going through with it Greg. You can either fight me all the way or you can help me."

"I think I may feel too strongly to just say it's okay. It's a big deal."

"Tell me about it, Greg." She said slyly, the silence returning. "Well, how about we start with shopping and you can help me pick out a new dress. Can you do that?"

She was trying to accommodate me--- and I was trying to accommodate her. Hell, we were trying. Which, right now, was enough.

"Yeah, I can do that." I nodded my head and smiled, "Hillary."

A grin spread across her face as she went to change.