Hillary slid her kinetic self into her red Miata, which was a bit too small for her but I kept my comments private. Instead, I asked her where the hell she was getting her money.

"None of your business, I'm afraid." She was neither offended nor gladdened by my inquiry but it was clear she had no intention of sharing. Fran and I had our suspicions. Our number one guess was a man was waiting on the sidelines--- eager for a woman who was completely indebted to him, including debt for becoming a woman in first place. Weird shit that I hoped Hillary wouldn't end up in, because the problem is that, aside from Hillary's blind devotion to her son Steve, as I am trying to prove, PEOPLE DON'T CHANGE.

What if people could change as individuals? Don't you think the world be a better place? Don't you think Queen Elizabeth would cry and grieve and laugh and smile if she could? What about President Johnson? Don't you think he wanted to change to be liked?

And of course, there is me. I used to think that I would change if I could--- because being straight IS easier and perhaps not such a confrontational life. Where being accepted is the norm, where touching my lover in public or even talking about my lover to any stranger would be without a grimace or a retreat--- and perhaps even ask my father for advice in relationships. But if I could still change to make my life all of these things, would I? I thought quickly, "No I would not." I said this thought outloud by mistake and Hillary said, "Excuse me?"

"Oh, nothing." I watched her drive, grinning like a bride. "So there's a store just for fat chicks?"

"Over sized femmes, Greg. You don't have to be fat to be oversized."

"But you can be, right?" I asked.

Hillary smiled sincerely and asked honestly "You think I'm fat?"

I felt bad for my arrogance and directness, "No fatter than Hugo. It just looks different in a dress, that's all."

"Yeah, I know. I want to lose twenty pounds before the surgery."

"It's scheduled?"

"Sometime in the next three months. They're waiting for my psychologist to say yes and whenever the doctor is available. Not a lot of people do this operation."

"Let's hope not." She lay on the brakes and my head came close to the windshield. "What the hell are you doing?" I asked.

"Listen, you can be an asshole. I've always known that and always will, but if you don't think you can't change, fine, but I can't listen to your negative crap anymore--- especially when it comes to my sexuality. Understand?"

"Sure." I said, still stunned by the jolting of the car and Hillary's aggression.

"And another thing," She was definitely on a roll. "Did you ever think that maybe you don't think people can change because you just don't want to change? That maybe your laziness combined with your arrogance is rationalizing this whole theory so you can continue in your world of adolescent bullshit?"

She waited for an answer, but I could think of none. Weakly, I shrugged--- hoping she wouldn't continue. Finally, a horn beeped and she drove off pulling into the parking lot of M'Lady, a fine dress shoppe for large women.