Andrew's back was to me as he burned various papers in the barbecue.

I had decided I couldn't stand going to San Diego alone. The drive was too long when you went alone-- no matter how good your CD's were. At least, that was my rationalization.

I didn't want to leave Drew alone. I know he needed some privacy but I had to keep trying. I had to convince him.

And there he was in front of the fire, his back to me. Crying. My instinct was to go to him, to put my arms around him and take away all his pain. But I knew that was too much; I knew he needed his personal space.

"What are you doing, Andrew?" I asked and he turned around.

"You were supposed to be in San Diego," he said. I was afraid he'd be angry but he looked almost relieved.

"I couldn't go. I'm sorry, Drew. I know you said you needed to decide some things-- for yourself-- but I don't see why I can't be a part of your life. I know you need to think, to consider things."

His eyes remained on the burning flames.

"I'm not going to invade that. We both need time but Andrew...I'm willing to do whatever it takes: therapy, marriage counseling, even if you want us to separate for a while-- I mean, I don't want to but if that's what YOU
want-- we'll do it. But you will stay here, I won't make you move. This is your house as much as it is mine. I'll get an apartment, or maybe we could ask Greg to move out and I would stay in the guest house."

I waited but he was quiet, the fire dying down behind him.

"I just burned Mark Fitzgerald," he said. "I took everything that was ever connected to him and destroyed it. Now, there's just you, Eric. You're the only thing that reminds me of him. What am I gonna do with you?"

I had no answer for him until...

"Take me back. Please, take me back and let me be the exception to the rule. Let's both destroy him. Don't you see, Andrew-- if we break up, he'll have won, he'll have gotten what he wanted from the beginning. But if we work this out, if we swear to make this work, we win. We win!"

Andrew turned back to the fire. God, he was so handsome in the fading sunlight and the glow of the coals.

He was crying, softly. He was so beautiful.

"Okay," he mumbled. "Let's do it."

I was stunned. "What? Do you mean...?"

"I mean, let's see if we can fix this, Eric. Let's see if we can come together again. But NO promises."