"There's so much work to do, Eric. We don't just 'get back together' and pretend things are fine. It's not going to be the same."

Eric had been begging, pleading for another chance. It broke my heart to see him this way but I felt strong for the first time in months. I was not gonna fall back into a relationship based on mistrust, lies and non-communication. I'd had enough of Mark Fitzgerald and I wasn't gonna wait around for the next one to pull Eric away from me.

"Andrew, I don't want share our lives...my life, without you. I'm sorry for what happened between Mark and I, and I know...I'll never be able to un-do that but I want to make this work."

I stared him down.

But he continued. "I think that if I'm willing to try... you should be willing to try with me. Let's... let's go away, let's go to Mexico or something."

I knew that was no solution.

" No, Eric. We're not going anywhere. If we want to try to put this back together, it has to happen right here, right in our home. Running to Mexico would just be a diversion."

"But those Mexican boys are so sexy in their little bathing suits." I didn't laugh at his attempt at humor. He said he was kidding.

"It's too soon for jokes, Eric. It's too soon. My trust in you is low and damn it, I think I'm justified to feel that way."

"You are," he said. "I'm sorry. It was just getting so heavy. Where is the humor, Andrew? I mean, I just think we need to laugh a little here. Look at us. You and me, we thought we were invincible for so long, and now we're in as much trouble as anyone else. It's like Superman and Lane -- having a big breakup."

I smiled.

"Which one of us is Superman, Eric?"

He jabbed me in the ribcage and grinned, "Me, of course."

We laughed. And he was right. It did feel better to laugh.

*****

Dinner was good. I did it again, only this time everything tasted so fresh and flavorful. Eric was wolfing down the Parmagianna when...

"Eric," I said. "I want us to go to counseling. I got the name of a great therapist from my sister who's here in Los Angeles. She read an article about him in some big magazine. He's expensive but he's supposed to be really amazing. I want us to go-- to see him."

Eric stopped eating.

"That scares the hell out of me, Andrew." And it did, I could tell.

"But, Drew," he continued. "I'll do anything to make this work. If you want to see him, we will see him. Set it up and I'll be there."

"You have to want to see him, too. It can't just be me that wants all of this, Eric. If it doesn't work out, it's gonna be my fault."

"I'm not worried about that," he said. "Because it will work. It WILL work."

We toasted. With our Cabernet.

"To a brand new beginning," he said.

And I believed him.