The guard was cool enough to allow Hillary and I access to the outside compound, surrounded by various steel and brick walls. After all, Hillary and Greystone had a history. Maxfield, her boyfriend, owned a lot of shares in the respected mental health corporation and while it was technically against the rules, the powers that be had to respect Hillary's requests to visit with me outside.

As we walked, from over the edge of the brick wall covered in razor wire, I could see the top of my favorite tree.

"That tree is the one piece of joy from my window. It is my world."

"Just think...one day you'll be free and you can touch it."

I was silent and I think Hillary understood why. There was no need for polite motivational conversations at this point, particularly between us. This was not the happy ending of THE WIZARD OF OZ, it was THE EXORCIST.

"I don't need a carrot dangled in front of me to make me behave, "I stated. "I'll do what I want."

We continued walking in silence, our feet making crunching sounds along the gravel.

"I know you will, Steve."

And then I felt her gently grasp my hand, her face suddenly pained.

She couldn't speak. I was surprised by the emotion across her face. "Next week...I'm..."

"You're what?"

"Having...the operation."

"You mean THE operation?"

She simply nodded. I knew it would remove the last remaining part of Hugo, finally evolving Hillary into complete womanhood and a heavy regimen of supplements, hormone therapy, and female post-op alteration surgeries.

"Because of some drug interaction problems I have , there is a risk and an increase of susceptibility to being put under. I've had to sign a lot of medical releases because o f the anesthesia issue."

I snickered. "What...you'll never wake up?"

Basically." It was the moment I realized she wasn't kidding. My heart suddenly began to pulsate. Not in sadness over possibly losing this gender bending creature, but in the realization that if she were to die, I would have no champion in my fight and could be sent to a Federal facility if a judge deemed it necessary . Hillary was assuming all liability for Greystone and the proper management of my psychosis. If she were to go, the authorities would open the legal door for me to be transferred to a federal facility.

"Maxfield has my will and testament. In it, I've left you over half of my belongings, including shares to this place. Due to your incarceration, you won't have access to any of it until you're released."

"Is that why you surprised me today?"

Hillary nodded. "I wanted you to know."

The conveyor belt in my mind started revving its gears and a smile fell across my face as I looked up and saw the very tip-top of the beautiful tree.

Perhaps I'd be touching it in person, beyond these institutional walls, a lot sooner that anyone thought.