Should I just wait for it?
Was it even on its way?
If I needed to prepare for it, how would I begin?
Did I need a lawyer before they arrested me? Was the insurancejerk bluffing because they had no leads? If they really thought Idid it, wouldn't they have already started proceedings? Orarrested me right there? They wouldn't have warned me, unless theywere just trying to scare me, right?
"Maybe I'll be the one who gets to take you in to custody," Kurtwinked. "I'd like to see you in handcuffs."
Obviously, he thought that was cute.
It wasn't.
I didn't really know much about Kurt, besides the fact that hisjokes sometimes weren't that funny.
Was I just making the same mistakes that I'd made with Steve?Letting a pretty face and an ounce of culture swamp me with lust?Letting my loneliness and horniness cross wires in my brain andset me up for the kill?
What was going to be wrong with Kurt? Headaches like Steve? Theinability to tell class from ass?
What the hell was I doing?
Why did my feet feel so cold?
Charley had only been dead for two years and here I was planning adate with somebody.
Charley, babe, am I just using you as an excuse to not take newchances with people? Am I doing your spirit a disservice?
Please, God, Higher Power, whatever, help make a decision easy forme.
Just once.
"Would you like to go out and grab something to eat?"
"Huh?"
"You okay, Hugo? I don't know what planet you were on, but itwasn't in this galaxy."
"I'm sorry, Kurt. My mind's..."
"You don't even have to try and explain. I understand."
"What did you ask me?"
"I wanted to know if you were hungry."
"I'm always hungry. Can't you tell?" I said, massaging my belly.
"I didn't notice."
"Very gallant, Kurt, but liars go to hell."
