We made love, went to my favorite place for dinner, and then we came back and made love again.
I know Steve has a short fuse. I know what he did to me was wrong.
But, I also know that he loves me. I can change him.
He's the only one I've been with who's said it to me. Others have said that they love me when I do this or that, but never that they loved me.
I got out of the shower, dried myself off, made breakfast and began reading another part of Steve's journal.
After my Mother died, my Grandmother sent me toa military school. I was unpacking my things whena fellow student walked in to my dorm room."You're the new scrub, huh?"
"I guess I am."
"I'm Alec," he said holding out his hand. "I'll beyour New Cadet Advisor. The school gives each new lad a senior to show him around and help him with his studies."
I shook his hand. "What do I have to do for my advisor?"
"The tradition here is," he said looking me over. "Whatever the senior says."
I spent the next few weeks shining Alec's shoes and ironing his uniform.
One night I was in Alec's dorm pressing his ties.
He sat wrapped in a towel on his bed flipping through a magazine.
"What do you think of this?" he asked, holding up the magazine. "This turn you on?"
It was a picture of two men fucking.
"It does for me," he said, removing his towel and walking towards me. He rubbed his erection against me. "Whatever the senior wants."
I grabbed Alec's thumb and bent it back. He fell to his knees.
"Let's start a new tradition," I said, unzipping my pants. "You do whatever I want."
He did.
I read another entry.
On my eighteenth birthday my grandmother took me out to dinner and said,"Steven, your Mother lied to you.""What do you mean?"
"Your father abandoned you and your mother. He didn't die."
I sat there, feeling like I'd been shot.
She reached into her bag, pulled out my Mother's old high school yearbook and handed it to me. "He's in there."
I closed the journal and went to Steve's many piles of books.
I felt like a Hardy boy.
I searched until I found what I was looking for.
His Mother's yearbook.
