My "business dinner" with Thea wasn't very professional. Not that I'm complaining since I did order the bottle of Merlot. Perhaps I'm in lust after that disastrous rendezvous with the SWF.
Thea's attractive, together, funny, and nice. Oh God, did I just use that word?
Relax Frannie, geez. There's nothing wrong about Thea-- or your definition of nice: dull and pat. You're simply overreacting to the fact that maybe...you like her?
I've been thinking it's time to settle down with my lifetime companion so maybe I should take a closer look at Thea? Wait a sec, a soulmate isn't someone you examine with a "should." It's someone you just know is it.
I liked that girl who worked at the donut shop on Robertson awhile back. Maybe she's my soulmate and we're supposed to make apple fritters together?Ugg. I've never been good at this dating thing. And I work with Thea which can always be a sticky situation if it doesn't work out. Tense moments at the coffee pot would be a drag, but I have been meaning to cut down on my caffeine.
Great, the jerk is now driving in the lane next to me and I can feel the eyes staring me down through the tinted windows of his-- or her-- black BMW. Tinted windows. Unless you're a major celebrity or you don't like the sun, why have them? I always want to ask, "what are you so afraid of?"
The Jerk suddenly pulls ahead, changing lanes and moving directly in front of me. Whatever-- I am peaceful and loving.
I wonder if Thea's car has tinted windows?
The BMW puts on its brakes and I SLAM on mine. The BMW suddenly speeds forward and I realize the driver is playing chicken with me. Having had enough, I make a right turn onto a side street-- only to realize it's lined with industrial buildings on either side.
I look in my rearview and see a shadow take the corner after me. Shadow? On closer look, I realize it's a second BMW without no lights on-- speeding towards me.
Suddenly my heart begins to POUND and I realize I'm in trouble. I speed forward when suddenly shooting out of an adjacent alley is the first BMW, blocking my path. I SCREECH on the brakes as the second BMW swerves into position behind me.
My heart races as FOOTSTEPS move towards my car in the shadows. I quickly lock the doors and BLARE on my HORN. Someone, please God, someone has to hear me.
There's a TAP on my window and I see the shiny metal of a 9mm handgun pointed straight at me. "GET OUT OF THE CAR!" screams the man's voice.
He cocks it, pointing it at me.
My shaking hand unlocks the door when suddenly the man pulls it all the way forward. "SHUT YOUR EYES!"
I obey. Suddenly all I see is darkness and hear four men move towards me as I'm pulled out of the car. I feel the cold barrel of the gun pressed against my temple and the man's warm breath against my ear.
"How are you doing?"
I think to myself, 'Well, I have a feeling you're not my soulmate' but I respond with, "take it." I put out my car keys.
"I don't want your car. I want my money your boyfriend owes me."
Boyfriend? Obviously there's been a mistake but I don't think telling him I'm a lesbian would help.
"Mike thinks he can just skip out and not give me my money? You tell that asshole to find me or first its gonna be you-- then him. You understand?
I nod yes and feel the gun handle SMACK into the back of my head. I fall to the pavement in incredible pain as I begin to lose consciousness.
