"It is about time you two did something about this." he said. And he was right. He informed me he would go to the courthouse in the morning to begin the paperwork-- which should take a few days.
When I answered the phone, I assumed Mark had forgotten something,
"What, Mark? Are you calling to say you want me in your bed tonight?"
"Luigi?"
It wasn't Mark. It was my father.
We cried a lot.
He was upset that I had taken so long to tell them. Papa told me over and over that nothing I could ever do would make him stop loving me.
He said, "You'll always be my son Luigi. I'll never get used to this 'Eric' business. I remember how proud I was the first time I held you and I'm just as proud today. No, prouder. You are a big, fancy doctor. You make a great salary, you are kind and loving-- you respect your family and your Mama and me...I love you, Luigi. Never forget that."
I echoed the sentiments back to him. I confessed that I was afraid that I would fall from grace in their eyes-- that somehow I would appear less than if I told them I was gay. After all, they'd gone through enough hardships in their lives.
He then asked me about AIDS, of course. I told him I'd tested negative and that Drew and me practiced safe sex. I heard his relief over the phone. He again said how proud he was that I was being responsible.
"Papa, can I speak to Mama?"
He was quiet.
He took a long beat before he spoke.
"She don't want to talk right now, Luigi. She's at church. She thinks this is a bad thing."
I was stunned. "She hates me, doesn't she?"
"She loves you, Luigi. She's just upset, she... she doesn't wanna talk right now. I think this is gonna be harder for her, Luigi. She's gonna have to adapt to this, y'know? But give her time, Luigi -- this is gonna take some time for her... okay?"
I agreed. But I was very disappointed and couldn't hide it. We hung up and suddenly I felt a mixture of bittersweet emotions. I'd thought Papa would have had the difficulty-- not her.
I wondered how well I really knew my mother.
