I found this picture of you in a magazine
I thought you belonged only to me
I see now, you want to give yourself to the world
I'm the one for you. The only one
We should spend the rest of time together
I love you
And with the note-- the magazine photo.
What was my reaction? I heard myself ask that question, "what's your reaction, Drew?" Voices in head were commonplace now. I could have full conversations with me, myself, and I.
"Did you do something to deserve this? No, I just want to live my life. I don't want to involve anyone else in this. But you are-- look at what you're doing to Eric, to your friends, to your family."
Was I losing my mind? I remember reading somewhere that hearing voices could be a symptom of insanity but I was too afraid to tell anyone.
I threw the letter and the torn photo in the trash. I knew I should have kept it for "evidence" but I didn't need anymore.
I decided to not even mention this one to Eric. He seemed to be more upset lately than me, especially since Greg had sold my pictures to that magazine. Eric and I were so tense around each other. The sex was great, it was always great-- but intimacy was no longer commonplace.
Now, the stress was back. The horrible silence between us.
It was then I realized-- I had to tell Eric about the letter. I couldn't shut down completely or I would, without a doubt, lose him.
