The object Lily had stolen for me was exactly the LAST thing I had wanted for her to take from the doctor’s office. Imagine my surprise when the guard left me alone in my cell and after careful consideration, making sure no one would peer into my window, I huddled along the cement floor and removed the object from beneath my billowing shirt only to see an object I couldn’t recognize.

It was metal, with a silver tongue and a wire nut screw which, when inserted, acted as a type of lever to raise the metallic tongue. It fit comfortably in my hand, almost like a gun. For Lily to successfully steal something like this, meant that it was within arms reach and wouldn’t necessarily be missed. Looking closer at the object, I realized it was dirty. I smelled it and in a strange way it reminded me of Lily. I smelled it again, then quickly dropped it to the floor because in that moment I realized what it was: a speculum, used on women for regular check ups.

STUPID LILY! What the hell was she thinking? How am I going to use this for anything? Slowly I calmed myself down, realizing I had been given this gift for a reason and I could either bitch and complain about it or make it work– somehow. It was still very unclear to me exactly how I would use it, but I’d gotten creative before and I knew I would have to make it work.

I reached beneath the mattress of my bed to the silver support coils and fastened in the speculum accordingly. I realized it was futile. On a routine check of the room, of course someone would find it. Taking the edge of the screw on the speculum, I tore into the head of the mattress and made a small slit wide enough to hide my new object within it. A small hole now lay exposed but could carefully be hidden by the edge of my pillow at the head of my bed. This would work. Now all I needed to figure out was how the hell I was going to use this object as a means of getting out of this shit hole.

Mike sat across me in the conference room, sitting calmly as he wrote on my file during my session.

“Do you think you could be an asset to society?” He asked.

“Sure,” I responded, thinking if the speculum was shoved into someone’s back from behind, would it feel like a gun? I shifted in my seat. “Dr. Hawthorne’s office was more comfortable.”

“I told you. He’s leaving.”

“You’ll be getting his office?”

“No, they’ll be bringing in someone new.”

“Oh, I see. A new administrator,” I said, leaning forward with a yawn and stretching my torso.

Mike nodded, writing down in my file as he shifted in his seat. Suddenly, I stared forward in awe, the smile widening across my face.

“What’s the matter?” Asked Mike.

“Mr. Happy is obviously happy to see me.”

“Excuse me?”

“The bulge in your pants. I stretched and you got hard.” Mike was silent, clearly embarrassed. I simply stared at him, recognizing the confusion in his face.

He silently scribbled across my file. Shit, he was going to turn this around and make it MY issue? I continued, “Mike, I think you’re very attractive. Don’t be scared of these feelings.” I was enjoying sounding like a therapist. “Just remember they’re feelings. Feelings confuse, feelings lie. But when you want to make love to me, when you’re ready, just let me know.”

He remained quiet, writing down everything that I was saying. He wasn’t going to give me an inch, but I knew--- hell, we both knew– the inches between his legs weren’t lying.