It's amazing how fast tension expands when sex is ungifted. By this time, Donna had tried everything except to ask me point blank, "are you gay?" It was time for me to relieve her confusion.

I had taken a shower and I waited for her while watching "Gilligan's Island." It was the episode where the gorilla falls in love with Gilligan and chases him around the room. I slurped my martini. I heard thefamiliar jingle of keys and swashed the rest of the gin down my throat.

She mumbled an inaudible hello, dropped her belongings, and went to take a shower.

"I need to talk to you, Donna."

"I need a shower. Is that all right with you? I need something. I know you become paralyzed when it comes to my needs, but hell, do you possibly think you could hold off for ten minutes while I take care ofmyself for once?" The shit was hitting the air conditioner.

"Take a shower, no problem."

"Thanks." She said with unrelenting sarcasm.

The gorilla had caught Gilligan and was ogling him. Gilligan lay nervously in the gorilla's arm waiting for either a French kiss or to have his head bashed in. He couldn't figure which he would prefer.

I was having another martini down when Donna came back in, pulling a white wide comb through her hair. She sat on the round rug, placed her comb on the coffee table and looked up at me. "How about one of those for your wife?"

"Sure," I said and made her a very large martini.

She channel surfed but when I came in, she clicked the TV off.

"Thanks," she said before I handed her the drink. Then she sipped likea lady.

"Donna, I'm sorry."

Without looking at me she mumbled, "I know."

"I've been an asshole."

"I know."

"But I think it's time to stop." We both felt the heat.

She nodded and looked up finally. "Did you talk to your dad?"

"You know what Donna, don't worry about it." Her eyes grew curious. "I'm not sure it should be any of your concern."

"Go to hell."

"Hey, don't get pissed. I'm just saying that you're always worried about everyone else. Instead of worrying about how my dad is going to take it, you should worry about how you're taking it. How ARE you taking it?"

"None of your business. Now get out."

"Donna, you've been through so much. You love me, I know you do, and I want to be here for you. Ask me anything, say anything."

Now she swashed down her drink and said calmly, "I'm going out. When I get back, I want you and any semblance of you out." She got up, grabbed her sweat shirt, and went out with her wet hair.

"Well, that went well."

*****

I still, after all this time, had a key to Fran's apartment. She had told me to let myself in and throw my stuff anywhere. It ended up on the kitchen floor.

It's funny how when you make a change there's that urge to do it quicklyand that's what I wanted. I wanted my old life back now. I flippedopen my telephone book and found where I had written his number underthe letter of his first name, G.

He answered. "Hello."

"George, hey it's Greg."

He was distant immediately. "What can I do for you?"

"Well, that's rather formal, isn't it?"

"What's up Greg? You coming back to the church?"

"I don't think so George, but I guess you knew that. I was really calling just to talk to you."

"Why?"

"Well, I think...I...like you. I think you're interesting."

A long silence.

Finally, "I've got to go." And he hung up. I wasn't personally hurt-- just disappointed. Not for me, but for him.

I looked down and saw my unopened mail that had fell out of my bag and saw a handwritten address on a small white envelope. I picked it up...

DEAR GREG,

PLEASE COME TO A DINNER PARTY AT MOCHA DAZE, SATURDAY, JUNE 20, AT EIGHT.

STEVE.

Steve? Hey, just like me, maybe he had changed. Hopefully I had.