I went to the gym and worked out till I thought I'd die.
I went to the "fancy" grocery store and bought over three hundred dollars worth of gourmet food, all Andrew's favorites-- I came home, stopped off at the florist on the way-- and filled the house with wisteria and lilacs.
I called Andrew at work and found out he was already on his way home. I opened a bottle of Cabernet, put some Sade on the CD player, lit some candles and relaxed on the couch after getting a nice fire started in the fireplace.
I heard Andrew's car pull into the driveway.
I tried to relax-- but I was tense as hell.
The door opened and Andrew came in, seeing what I'd done.
"Nice try, Lewis. What's your point?"
"My point is just to prove I'm not a complete loser, Drew. I'm not totally bad, I do have my good days and this is one of them. I wanted to remember what it was like when we were first dating, when we first met. I wanted to bring back the fire, the passion, the romance... I don't know, Drew-- I know that all sounds tacky and clichÚ, but God, we had such good times-- such fun, such beauty in our lives. Hey, remember St. Thomas?"
Drew smiled.
St. Thomas was the first big vacation we'd gone on together. We'd bought passage on a 75 foot schooner operated by a captain, a chef and a 1st mate... and four couples. Two were gay, two were straight -- it was the most incredible vacation any of us had ever taken. We all got along, the other couples were so much fun and we promised to keep in touch and do it again in ten years. We still speak to them now and then, usually around Christmas.
St. Thomas symbolized such pure love for Andrew and I. Such innocence. I was dying to go back there, to re-capture what we'd lost.
"I checked into a cruise to St. Thomas, Andrew," I said, pouring him some wine.
"You did not," he smiled but he knew I had.
"Not the one we did with the "gang," but a good one. A very small luxury cruise -- very expensive but I think we both deserve it... can you take a week off from work? I mean, you just say the word and I'll finalize all the plans, the flight to Miami -- all of it. I mean it, Drew. I think we should go, it'll do a lot more for us than that silly therapy weekend did."
Drew looked at me strangely and I realized I'd hurt his feelings. I had made fun of his therapy weekend, but it was pretty silly.
"Drew, don't answer. Just think about it. But while you're thinking about it, remember what St. Thomas did for us, remember how it solidified our relationship-- it cemented so much for us and I don't know about you, but I could use some more cement."
Drew didn't say anything...this wasn't going to be easy.
