I was at the gym, hadn't been there in days and days. So I was in the middle of one of those workouts where you're trying desperately to put six days into one -- where you can't move for days afterwards. Set #26 of the famous bench press!!!!! UGHGHGHGHGH -- I HATE THE GYM.

But I love the results. I decided to take a breather and stepped out on the sun deck, taking my shirt off and soaking up the sun.

My chest looked damn good, and my arms and butt weren't too bad either. I'll show that Eric Lewis -- I'll have him begging to make love!!!!.

But look at that guy! Wow! I'm positive he did a Calvin Klein layout in Interview Magazine -- oh-my-god, he's looking at me, oh-my-god, he's smiling...

I headed back inside and returned to the bench press. UGHGHGHGGHGHGHGH -- I HATE THE GYM.

Lift, Drew! Lift, Drew! PushPushPushPushPushPush!!!

And then out of the blue, from nowhere, Greg was standing there. He took the weight from me and set it on the rack. "Andrew, I have to talk to you."

"Ah ah ah! Can't talk to me, Greg -- I'm queer. Remember, last time we spoke I think you were afraid you'd catch something from my VOICE. Remember when I needed you to cover for me? Remember when I wanted you to go to the beach? Remember? Get lost."

I moved to the showers to get away from him-- and to watch the Calvin Klein model get dressed. But Greg followed me.

"Drew -- I'm... I'm sorry... but I have to tell you something. It's about Eric. You have to know this. It's important."

I bit. "Okay.... let me get dressed. Meet me at the juice bar."

*****

I ordered a protein smoothie to try and replenish my warped body. My arms were like spaghetti and I could barely lift the glass to my mouth. Greg was waiting patiently for me to come back to life.

"Okay, what horrible thing has my boyfriend done this time?" I asked. "What heinous act has he committed? Slept with my brother? Slept with you? What?"

Greg looked gravely serious, so much I almost laughed.

"Uh... Andrew, I don't know how to say this but... I... well, I saw him making out with...with a woman."

I laughed out loud! No, I roared! People looked. I spilled my smoothie.

"Listen to me, Andrew. I swear to God, I was meeting someone for lunch at that French restaurant off 3rd Street. I was at a table near the entrance and there, in the back was Eric with this really beautiful blond woman. They were talking and holding hands... and...then...he leaned over and kissed her."

I feigned fascination, "Then what, Greg?"

"She kissed him back. It went on for a while and then Eric saw me. I'm almost positive he saw me because he stopped instantly and they left not long after that. I swear, I'm not doing this to hurt you, Andrew."

A long pause... from me... then --

"Greg-- fuck you. You know what? Go straight to hell! You have made it your life's goal to break me and Eric up that now it's become a broken record, Greg, get your own life and stop living mine! Jesus, you have the nerve to make up this, this, this...bullshit! A woman? You've totally lost it, Greg. See you around."

And I left. Stupid ass.

Another friend bites the dust.