"Yeah...in there...right there. I love that, do it harder, Eric... harder... ummm yes, deeper now, deeper..."

We were making love, his mood had relaxed after a few glasses of wine and we started fooling around. I put in a dirty video on the VCR, took off his

t-shirt, and started to stroke him. It felt great to touch him since it'd been almost two weeks since we had made love.

He moaned when I hit his "spot"-- the place that always got him. Eric was intense tonight. He pushed me down on the bed and rolled on top of me, holding my wrists down, over my head. He kissed hard, his tongue deep in my mouth, chewing on my lips, my neck, my ears...

"Yes! God, yes Eric."

Then he stopped.

I waited a second or two, catching my breath. What idea was he coming up with now? What did he want to try? I looked at the movie on the TV screen and three men were going after a very muscular guy laying on a workout bench. They were all naked and slicked from sweat -- they were talking, all of them, telling each other what they were gonna do to the guy on the bench. Slowly, he began to beg them to do it -- to do what they wanted...

Still, Eric hadn't moved.

Was he watching the video, too? What was he planning?

I looked at him. He sat down in a chair across the room, "I'm sorry, Drew. I'm not into this... sorry."

He got up and went into the bathroom and started brushing his teeth. I was stunned. I lay there and suddenly felt naked. Embarrassed. Stupid. Jesus, I had no idea what the hell was happening.

"What is going on, Eric? Tell me."

"I just wasn't in the mood, Andrew. That's all. You're the one that pushed it tonight -- you're the one that wanted to have sex, and you know what? Sometimes it takes two to do it. Sometimes you should ask, sometimes you should ask me if I'd like to have sex, too."

He slammed the bathroom door.

I was stunned.

Goddamnit! Here we go again, I thought. I'd done something, I had pushed too hard, I wanted sex and just assumed he did, too.

I looked at the guys in the movie -- how damn lucky they were: no strings, no commitments, no nothing. Just great, relentless sex. They were all over the guy now and he was moaning and screaming for more, more, more...

I sat there alone as Eric began to take a shower. I wanted to break the door down and attack him, take him by force just as the men in the movie did....

But I didn't. That would be pushing him.

I remembered what he said, "sometimes it takes two." And sometimes it only takes one, I thought. Like right now.

I took care of myself. And fell asleep.