Me and Fran were at this incredibly hard-ass aerobics class on Third Street, sweating our asses off. It was actually a "spinning" class, where you sit on these damn stationary bikes and an instructor gets you to ride about five thousand miles uphill-- with weights on!

Of course, Fran was barely breaking a sweat while there was a pool under me. Then the instructor, Tiffany stood right behind Fran and screamed, "Come on, you sexy lesbian!"

Everyone cracked up! Tiffany was FAB.

"I'm on your ass, Frannie! And I know you love it! Now MOVE, MOVE, MOVE! Let's hear it for "Dykes on Bikes!"

We roared with laughter and begged Tiffany to stop.

*****

Devouring our fat-free dinner at the fat-free restaurant down the fat-free block from the fat-free dance studio, I couldn't hold back any longer.

"Fran, I think Eric's up to his old tricks again."

She did a spit take and gasped, "Get out of town! Again? Tell me!"

"He's off for the weekend for a business trip. Told me he had to go to Las Vegas, I checked his itinerary, he's going to San Francisco."

"A ticket mistake?" she asked feebly.

"I called the airlines, read them the reservation-- it's all accurate. I called the hotel in San Francisco, he's definitely on his way up there. Why would he lie? Why would he tell me he was going to Las Vegas instead of San Francisco?"

"What're you gonna do, Drew?" she asked.

I didn't know and told her so.

"That sonofabitch! I'm going straight over to his office and-"

"No," I told her and smiled. I had the right idea...I was going to follow Eric to San Francisco. Fran was thrilled and begged to come along. I said no, that it was best if I did this by myself-- to confront him alone if all of this were true.

"I can say this, Fran." I was strangely calm about this. "If Eric is doing this again, I'll be as far away from him as Mark Fitzgerald is right now. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!"

We ordered some fat-free cheesecake.

"Here's to deception and espionage," we toasted our iced teas and drank (Fat free iced tea, of course).