Eric and I were in my doctor’s office, awaiting the results of my last spinal x-ray. I was hopeful for a good diagnosis, but when a doctor asks you to come into their office for a “consultation,” there is always the fear that they’ve discovered you have cancer, the Ebola virus, or some rare horrific disease that will cause your intestines to liquefy.

“Nervous?” asked Eric, looking at his watch, the two of us realizing my doctor was late.

“No,” I calmly stated, looking around the wood wall paneling and various pictures of the doctor’s family. I saw a small clock radio on his desk that read 3:19PM.

“I hate it when doctors are late,” muttered Eric.

“And you’re always on time?”

I sounded caddy, and I didn’t mean to, but the tension was brooding fear inside me. I started whispering to myself, “I’m on a Path of Glory with my people.”

Eric shifted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable with my positive affirmations. But I didn’t let that stop me. I continued, “I’m on a Path of Glory…”

“All right!” Blurted Eric, “I can’t take this anymore. I’m trying to be considerate but you’re driving me nuts with this Path of Glory shit. You can do it when you’re alone but not around me.”

The room fell silent as my doctor entered his office, his eyes shifting towards Eric.

“How’s Doctor Dapper Dan today?” I quipped, wanting to clear the room of Eric’s outburst.

He smiled at us. “Just fine, particularly after viewing your x-rays. Drew, you’re very lucky. There is no permanent damage to your spinal area and it looks like you’re almost at 100%. What’s amazing is how fast your body has healed, which is why I called you in today. What have you been doing?”

“Just some positive affirmation shit.” I looked over at Eric who forced a smile.

“I’m just glad you’re better,” said Eric, driving us back to the house. I picked up the car phone and dialed the Path of Glory hotline, determined to find a meeting for tonight.

“Are you going to go out tonight?” Eric asked.

I simply nodded.

“Drew, I’ll be honest. I’m happy you’ve found this group and I’m happy you’re getting a lot out of it, but I’m scared.”

“Scared of…?”

“That you’re going to become involved in some weirdo cult and sacrifice chickens.”

I laughed.

“Drew, I’m serious. These things happen. Pretty soon you could be doing ‘private consultations’ and before you know it you’ll be giving them all of our money, shaving your head, and wearing pastel togas.”

“Give me a break, Eric.”

“That’s my fear, that’s all I’m saying.”

“You’re jealous.”

“What?”

“I think you’re jealous that I’m not sitting at home anymore waiting for you.”