My parents were crying,resounding smiles spread across their faces as I walked down the middle of the church,their eyes staring at me from the front pew with joy. The church was crowded with friends and family,all gathered together to witness our commitment ceremony.

Several members of Eric's medical center were there,including a doctor who was best friends with K.D. Lang. She had generously donated her time to perform at our ceremony,and as I joined Eric at the rose covered alter,she hit a glorious high C.

The priest,a handsome older man who resembled Armistead Maupin,welcomed us with open arms. The giant church was suddenly still,silence filling the large hall with an urgent immediacy. The television crews were held back on the street,our large black limo waiting to take us to the reception at the Bel Air Beach Club.

Eric and I exchanged our vows. He read a glorious poem he had written about the power of truth and that if we would ever lose each other,he would die a hundred deaths. I decided to sing my vows in a duet with K.D. from an old Erasure song about the Chains of Love.

And as Eric swooped me into a tango embrace, leaning me over the floor as his strong arms (he'd been going to the gym again) held me close, he gently kissed me. My entire body tingled as the church broke into a chorus of applause.

Eric and I grabbed hands and ran outside to the waiting limosine. Flash photographs went off and Barbra Walters was there,trying to ask me some questions but I ignored her,not wanting to cry.

But as I moved closer to the car door,I felt my left leg suddenly become very heavy. I looked down at my ankle and saw attached to my foot a small metal brace,locked to a chain and a small metal ball.

The ball and chain was suddenly too heavy to lift.

Eric looked at me and asked,"Decaf non-fat no foam latte?"

I tried to move my leg again but it was no use. "What!?" I asked him.

He leaned closer,"Decaf non-fat no foam latte?"

I blinked my eyes and found myself standing at the Starbucks counter,numb,the coffee bar girl with the tight braids now yelling at me,"DECAF NON-FAT NO FOAM LATTE?!"

"Yes. Sorry, sorry." I mumbled,grabbing the drink like a starving urban predator and recoiled myself to the milk and sugar bar.My wedding fantasy had been getting the best of me lately. Some days it was filled with love and purity,other days it was a production that would rival even Ivana and Donald. Some days I was ecstatic,other days I was completely petrified.

I suppose this was normal,but that doesn't mean it made it any easier. As I stirred my coffee addiction,I glanced down at the engagement ring across my hand. Was this the right thing to do?

Wedding bell blues.

Later that night,as I lay sleeping next to Eric,trying to count the glow in the dark star stickers on our ceiling,I felt the inevitability of my fears. Like stars,they were everywhere.

And then Eric rolled over in his sleep and spooned behind me,nuzzling his chin along my shoulder. Suddenly,the fears vanished in the warmth of his body against mine and realized everything was going to be just fine.

But who was going to cater it?