FAX CONFIRMATION

TO: DR. ERIC LEWIS

FROM: LAS VEGAS HORIZONS

RE: RESERVATION CONFIRMATION #2445454

DEAR DR. LEWIS:

YOUR RESERVATION IS CONFIRMED IN OUR TWO ROOM SUITE WITH A LAS VEGAS STRIP VIEW. SHOULD YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS OR REQUESTS-- FEEL FREE TO CALL.

*****

I thought I'd splurge a little on Tyler O'Brien-- take him to Vegas, get him drunk, gamble, see Boylesque-- and then take him back to the suite.

And leave him begging for it.

I had become obsessed with this guy. I had a feeling he'd never been with a man and that made me even more excited, knowing I'd be his first.

Ever since we spoke about going away, he'd been calling every few hours from his Brentwood apartment. Janeanne was growing suspicious, I could see it in her face-- but I didn't give a damn. Let her think, let her call Andrew-- I didn't care anymore. I was sick and tired of answering to other people. I had worked so hard for what I had, I had succeeded in every possible sense, and what did I get? Doubt. Doubt from everyone-- from Andrew, from Rebecca, from everyone.

And where was Hugo?

My supposed "best friend" took off without hardly a word. But then, wasn't that typical of his sort? Middle-aged losers with no sense of purpose...men who've lost their looks and run coffee houses.

I had the worst headache.

I had the worst, heart-stopping headache.

I'd been having more lately. I would put my head down on my desk and almost pass out from the intense pain. I would find myself walking around the shopping mall in Century City, not far from the clinic, and wonder how long I'd been there. I'd buy something, a shirt or a pair of shoes, and have no recollection of why I'd bought it.

I assumed it was pressure and these damned headaches.

I felt so cold, all of a sudden. I needed to rest, to just put my head down on my desk and rest.

*****

Lipstick.

Nail polish.

A black bra.

I woke up thinking of those three things. God! It was three hours later. I was lying on my sofa in my office and those three things came out of my head. Jesus.

What was happening to me? And why was I erect?