My dealer and two of his goons stood in the doorway. My mind raced: where was Fran? She was out interviewing for a new job. She wouldnāt be home for another couple of hours. I was in the clear, and my need overcame my fear.

"Hey dude, I was just thinking about you."

"Happy New Year, Mikey. We missed your face at Christmas, pal. Yāknow, we wanted to buy gifts for the wife and kids, but, seeing as you didnāt pay your tab, we couldn't."

"Iām good for it." I said, and held out my hand for the supply of pills I knew he always had.

"You got my cash?" he asked coyly.

"About half."

"Give it to me."

I walked to my bedroom and brought him back my money.

"Here you go," I said, handing it to him.

One of the goons grabbed me and shoved me against the open door.

"Mikey," said Dealer Man. "It goes like this. Until you pay me the rest of what you owe me, I'm cutting you off. Got it?"

"Come on, man, " I pleaded. "I just a few fucking pills, man. Youāll get your money, no problem. Please!"

"No, Mikey, that is the problem. I don't know that you're good for it." He pulled the baggie from his coat pocket. "Tell you what...I'm not a bad guy. All you have to do is pay me my money and these are yours."

"I don't have it right now. I can get it for you tomorrow."

"Then you get these tomorrow."

"I need them now! My leg..."

"I'll help you out."

The other goon punched me in the stomach.

"They say inducing pain to one part of the body helps people forget the first pain."

Both goons let me have it in the gut. Then the groin. After they finished, I was doubled up on the floor.

"You forget about the aching knee, Mikey?" he asked.

The goon squad kicked me a couple more times for good measure. I just laid there.

"Lucky for you weāre still in the Christmas spirit. Think what would've happened to you if we weren't."