NOW YOU TELL ME!!

by Hugo

January 25, 1996 Vol. I, Issue No.6

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NOW YOU TELL ME!
by Hugo

Hello Sportsfans! It's Super Bowl weekend, and due to the unfortunate incident that has forced the temporary shut down of my fave place to be on Sundays, it looks like this queen is going to be dragged kicking and screaming to a friend's place to watch the game. How fabulous is that?!?

Well, this queer freely admits she doesn't know squat about football, so I turned to some of my best he-man friends to educate me about the rules! How well do you know that game? Here's a quick quiz that you and your fab friends can take and find out just how much of a football fan you are!

Intentional grounding is:

a) throwing the ball into the ground on purpose

b) when a player throws the ref on the ground on purpose

c) when you throw your lover on the ground on purpose (say there....)

Red Ruby 38-26-38 is:

a) a play call

b) a defensive line set

c) a drag queen named Ruby who's got big boobs

Hail Mary is:

a) a desparation pass down the field

b) something you cry out during sex

c) desparate cry for an aging drag queen

Underneath coverage is:

a) players that cover short pass

b) players that cover the running back

c) bottoms

Illegal motion is:

a) No such thing

b) No such thing

c) when a player moves the way they're not supposed to (still no such thing)

Illegal forward pass is:

a) when a player asks you to have sex before telling you his name

b) when the player who asks you to have sex before telling you his name is a criminal

c) when the quarterback throws the ball beyond the scrimmage line

A two-deep zone is:

a) ecstacy

b) agony

c) humanly impossible

Illegal use of the hands is:

a) No such thing

b) No such thing

c) Okay with me

Wide out is :

a) a receiver on the outside

b) a receiver on the inside

c) isn't this a lesbian term???

Too many men on the field is:

a) an orgy

b) More than eleven men on the field per team

c) never a problem

Clipping is:

a) players tackling by grabbing a player's nipple ring

b) players tackling from behind and below the knees

c) players tackling from behind above the back

T.T.F.N. and enjoy the game!!!!