I got an idea for a video project and dug up the box of vido tapes my mom sent me. They weren't in any order. I thought I'd put them together, a best of me, if you will, and send a copy to my mom for her birthday. I slipped in the first tape.

I was four and it was the first Christmas after the divorce.

*****

I hadn't said two words to my Dad in three months. The phone would ring. My mother and I would race to answer it; she'd always win.

"He's not here," she said. "No... no... he doesn't want to talk to you."

But I do, Mommy. I want to talk to Daddy. Please, let me talk to him.

"I don't want you calling here, anymore. Gregory told me last night how he hates you... He did, so... He said he never wanted to see you any more. You shut up! You just shut up! Don't you come by here."

I want you to stop by, Daddy. I want to see you.

"If you come by, I'll call the police."

She'd slam down the phone, take me by the arm and we'd go read the Bible in the living room.

*****

It wasn't the best of Christmases.

On the video, I'd opened all my presents and sat looking out the window, a sad little kid. I'd written to Santa, telling him I wanted a puppy and my Daddy. I hadn't gotten either one.

My mother did her best trying to get me to smile, but you could hear the giggly confidence in her voice start to erode when I didn't respond.

Then I saw it.

Mommy asks me what I'm seeing and when I say Daddy's car is pulling up in front of the house, the camera goes off, bursting into a shower of white noise and static.

*****

When he got out of the car, he was holding a puppy with a big red bow around its neck.

I bolted out the door towards him, my mother screaming at me to stay in the house.

"Did Santa ask you to come with the puppy?" I asked, giving him a big hug.

My mother stood by the front door, watching my father and me standing out on the front lawn.

She disappeared inside for a few minutes and then walked back into the doorway, with a smile.

The police cars arrived, soon after, their red and blues flashing.

My Daddy just froze, watching my mother, as the cops got out of the car and arrested him.

The puppy and I chased the police car down the street as they took him away.