Worse yet, I woke up alone. The hotel room was cold in the light of day. Without the cloak of midnight and the blanket of a warm body, it was down right unwelcoming. I looked around the room searching for signs of Gina. Wasn't there a song? No, that was "Jeannie with the light brown hair." Or was it "I Dream of Jeannie?" Oh well, Gina had dark hair anyway.
I shouldn't have had that last kamikaze. I shouldn't have let myself get out of control. I shouldn't have...oh, man. I steadied myself wallking into the bathroom. I needed Dr. Kevorkian. I found a note on the mirror. Why the hell are women always writing me notes??? I swear, the next chick I get involved with will be illiterate!
Sweetie,What a gorgeous night. The goddess was in you last night -- and I felther power flow through you into meas we bonded together, body and soul... I had an early morning flight to San Francisco, but Iāll be back. Until then, I'll feel your spirit in the wind. - Gina
This note was so weird, I would have laughed, but my head thundered when I moved. I managed to get dressed and tucked the note in my pocket. Greg's gonna get a kick out of this.
I got home to the aroma of cinnamon and vanilla and pine wafting through the apartment. Nothing like caffeine to break a hang over. That and a lot of grease.
Where did he pick up this coffee? I poured myself a cup and started a list in my head: eat big, fat burger; call Kevorkian for decapitation; tell Mike he's not such a bad guy.
I heard the bathroom door open and footseps in the hall.
"Thanks for making the coffee," I said. "Want a cup?"
My voice trailed off as I turned to see Mike and a woman in my kitchen. A freshly showered blonde in boxer shorts and flannel pj top.
I looked from her to Mike back to her. She looked from me to Mike back to me. Finally I said, "Hey Jane, you crazy thing."
"Oh my God!" she gasped. "Frankie?! What are you doing here?!"
"I live here! What are you doing here."
"Well..." she started, at least having the decency to be embarrassed. Mike grinned, a realization coming to his straight male synapses.
"Never mind," I said. "Don't go there." I suddenly pictured her humping and grinding with Mike and shivered. I turned to Mike.
"I told you, man. No tricks, not chicks, no dicks!!!!!!"
She looked hurt. But if the shoe fit, dammit. I told Mike NO BIMBO'S!
"Kane's not just some bimbo" he fought back. "Janeās a lady!" Give the guy credit -- he at least stood up for her.
"So was Lucretia Borgia! That doesn't mean she's welcome here either!"
Of course Janeās a lady. But confused as all get go. She broke my heart, but I hung on for a long time. Finally I said - oky babycakes, you need to make a decision. You come out and play, or you stay in your closet.
She stayed in the closet. And now sheās sleeping with M-m-mi....
"Will you excuse me?" I asked, suddenly feeling quite nauseous.