What in the world -- what planet -- what left of what ballpark of what planet is this man on?!?!?
"They're just photos, Eric.
"Just photos of you buck naked!"
Nude photos?! I feel like Neely O'Hara in "Valley Of The Dolls" getting slammed by a loser boyfriend! I come home and Andrew informs me that, Greg, the "Kato Kaelin" of my life, wants to take naked pictures of him...
"They're just for him, Eric. No one's gonna see them."
I look closely at Andrew to make sure he wasn't high on something.
"Excuse me, darling," I say with sarcasm. "But I do believe Greg will be seeing them!"
Andrew tries looking defiant . "Oh come on, Eric. It's just Greg!"
"Just Greg. Just Greg! Just Greg who can't keep his pants on, who would just as soon jump your bones as talk to you?! Well, let me clue you into a little bulletin my southern bell. Greg wants to take your picture, but it's not for the pursuit of any art. He still wants your ass!"
"That's not true."
I shake my head in disbelief, looking at his beautiful, naive face and his blue eyes. Sometimes he acted like such a blonde.
"Andrew, I don't think it's good idea! I don't care to have my boyfriend's penis immortalized on film or any other "artistic" medium Greg has in mind. ."
"So," said Andrew, "you don't want me to do it."
"In a word, sweetheart. No."
He goes on to tell me, "well, you're playing straight with Fran..." like that has ANYTHING to do with ANYTHING. I explain the difference and of course he tells me it's fine to pose naked for pictures for Fran -- ha hah, very funny.
"Are you completely out of your mind, Andrew? No, I'm really interested. Are you clinically insane?"
It's 3:30 in the morning, I still can't sleep. Andrew has tried to blow the entire thing off as a "silly idea". And here he is snuggling, in his cutest boxers, the ones that always get me -- it's not working this time. I won't drop it, he doesn't deserve to have me drop it.
"Answer me, Andrew."
"It was a stupid idea, Eric. I'm sorry. I won't do it. I'm sorry."
"Promise?"
"I have to promise you? God, where's the trust, Eric? Can't you trust me, that if I say I won't, I won't?"
"Promise."
Damnit, I knew he wouldn't promise if I asked him to. I knew it, he --
"Promise, I promise, Eric. There. Satisfied? Now, go to sleep."
Breathing hard.... I'm breathing real hard. He promised. Okay. Let it go. Let it go, I say to myself. I drift off, dreaming of Andrew's naked body, posing for Greg... over and over, the same dream... Andrew and Greg. Greg and Andrew. Andrew and Greg....
Over and over and over.
