It took a lot of time and much pacing of the hallway before I picked up the phone and asked Fran to be my date to the clinic's "welcome party" for me. I got a weird look from the senior partner when I told him I'd be coming stag -- a look without words but was full of them, a look that said, 'Oh, Dr. Lewis - certainly you can drag some lovely female along.'
So, since I don't even own a "little black book" with women's names in it, I racked my brain and came up with the best possible solution. Fran. I mean, she's a lesbian so she won't expect any physical contact. Not that that repulses me. Especially with Fran, she's pretty damn sexy. But in her words...
"Eric! I'm more of a man that Andrew will ever be!"
All right, yes, the best situation would be to find a lipstick lesbian -- but I don't know any. And Fran's a kick in the pants, and she'll stir up the old farts on the Board of Directors.
"You want to make an impression?" she said. "We'll make an impression. But I get a new dress out of it."
Who could argue with her logic?
She found a dress that looked like it was made for her. Sleek, black fabric made of something from another universe. We got shoes, a bag, some stockings, a fab hat and ran screaming with excitement from the store. It was a blast.
Till I got home.
"Oh, come on, Andrew! You don't even want to go! You're throwing a fit because you're jealous."
"I am not jealous!" he declared. He quietly slammed around the house and devoured a pint of Haagen Dazs.
"Yes you are, Drew. Just admit it! I just can't figure out if you're jealous because I'm not taking you or if it's because I didn't buy you a new dress!!!!"
He said, "very funny" and disappeared out to the guest house. Greg was over doing something out there -- probably taking out a wall or something. Who cares?
I took a deep breath and looked at myself in the mirror. "This has got to get easier...doesn't it??" I sincerely hoped so.
I got showered and dressed. I was off for my professional social "debut" at my new job. With my "girlfriend,ä Fran.
