It was morning and Helen wasn't due for an hour, so I sat in the commissary reading the paper. A Mexican girl, twenty or so, asked me if I wanted anything. "Coffee and a bowl of fruit." She nodded and walked away.

I thumbed through the paper, looking for something to tease my interest. I turned to the funeral and wedding announcements, just as the waitress brought my coffee and fruit, leaving me my check. Boy, she was fast.

When I looked back to the newspaper, it glared, "Mr. and Mrs. Harold Green would like to announce the wedding of their daughter, Miss Donna Green to Mr. Gregory Shamus." Well, that was interesting. I went on to read that the wedding is planned for Saturday, this Saturday, at the same church that the TV evangelists Reverend Ted Jones and his wife Anita Jones were married at. I dropped five bucks on the table and left.

I called everyone, "...no, married, yes married!...to that chick Donna...yes in a church!" We all agreed. We would attend the funeral, I mean the wedding, of Greg and Donna.

*****

Marriage. I never thought about it until recently. I guess pushing thirty does that to you. If I had to get married right now who would I choose, Christine or Helen?

Christine is a bit of a flake, but she loves me, intensely, that I know. We could move in, get a cat, some plants, and split the bills. When my car would break down and be at the shop, she could drive me to work, and vice-versa. She's definitely good looking, nice to be around, and a great cook. I like to hold her hand.

Helen, on the other hand, is not a flake but she would need my complete and undivided attention at all times. She's exciting and would make me laugh all the time. I like to sit next to Helen and feel her vivacious energy.

Just then Helen came bopping up from behind me. "What's up?" She grinned like a ripe banana. "Have a good night?" She jabbed me in the stomach with her index finger, and I knew her and PJ were back together.

My inner soul started to sputter and swirl. Movement escalated rapidly behind my eyes and in my chest, reminding me of just how alive I was. Jealousy was what I wanted Helen to feel, not me.

"You and PJ are back together?"

"What? You're not jealous are you?" She stood back, waiting for my answer.

"No, just happy if you're happy." I smirked and excused myself to go finish some wardrobe chores. I turned back to her once I was ten feet away and yelled, imitating her tone, "You are happy, aren't you?"

"Yes, yes I am!" She defended.

Oh fuck, I don't know. I'm still playing these childlike cat and mouse games, which tells me that I am no more ready to make a decision about marriage than Greg is ready to marry that chick Donna.

More importantly though, what was I going to get Greg and Donna for a wedding present. How about a copy of THE KARMA SUTRA? I figured they were going to need it.