I knocked on the door.
She answered the door in her bathrobe, using a towel to dry her hair. "Hi. They're in the kitchen."
I could see that her feelings about me hadnāt completely lifted.
Then again, I understood why.
I went into the kitchen and grabbed the stack.
My Mose Allison CD was on top.
The song "Everybody's Crying Mercy" came to my mind.
"Everybody's crying peace on earth
Just as soon as we win this war."
Fran and I both wanted to make up. Dinner the other night was a good first step but neither one of us wanted to give in, to admit that we were wrong, to say that we were sorry.
Itās all bullshit. And it all stops now.
She was in her bedroom with the door closed.
I knocked on the door. It flew open.
"They're all there! I didn't take any."
"I didn't say that you did. All I was doing was saying good-bye."
She paused. "Okay."
"I also wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm leaving for New York soon and I didn't want to leave it hanging like this. I know I did a dumb-ass thing. We both did. You're my friend and I didnāt mean to hurt you."
"That's it?"
"Yeah?"
She stood there, scratching her head. "I'm sorry too. I didn't think you'd be serious about Jane. I didnāt think you were serious about anything but drinking."
"Not anymore." I held out my hand. "Friends?"
She took my hand and we shook. "Friends," she said. "So, have you seen Jane lately?"
"Well," I said. "Jane and I made up."
Fran's jaw dropped. "What?"
"Don't take this the wrong way, but you really should get over it. It ended between you two."
"I know her. She's a user. Why, when we went out..."
I stopped her. "That was a while ago. She's changed."
"A leopard doesnāt change its spots."
"I'm trying, too!" I exclaimed. "All my life people have called me a loser, a screw-up. You know what? They were right. I'm working my ass off to find some kind light at the end of this tunnel I'm stuck in. I'm sober and I have Jane. It may not be much to you but it's saving my life. You don't like her-- you donāt have to like her. I don't give a shit. All that matters is that I do."
I stormed out of the house.
So much for the cease fire.
