Jane and I were eating lunch when the bombshell hit.
I'd been clean for almost a week and wanted to tell Jane that this was beginning to look like a pretty good thing the two of us had. I liked being with her; the sex was great and I wanted it to be just the two of us.
I wanted her to go to New York with me.
I took a drink of club soda. I didn't know if I'd ever get used drinking to that shit.
I'd have killed for a shot and a beer.
"You're doing good," Jane said.
"One day at a time."
Jane sat there, quietly munching on her crab salad. She looked wonderful.
I picked up my sandwich and took a bite.
"I have to tell you something," she said, taking hold of my hand.
"Me, too."
She squeezed my hand.
"You first."
"No, you go ahead."
"Okay, this is kind of hard. I slept with Fran."
"I know that."
"Recently."
She paused. "How recent?"
"A few weeks ago."
I stood up.
"It was before I'd started to care about you. About us."
"Why?"
"She was an old fling. I wanted to see if I could...have her again."
I felt the rage inside me begin to come up. My hands started clenching into fists. I wanted to scream that I hadn't screwed around on her!
"Mike, I know you've cheated on your other girlfriends. I've been around, I can tell. Besides, this was before we really started seeing each other."
"Fran?"
"It was nothing."
Jane motioned for me to sit back down.
"No," I said.
I'd been drinking all day.
What the hell did I care?
You try to clean yourself up and everybody else is more fucked up than you.
These drinks are for them.
