She paused, speechless for once. I don't think she had an answer.
I washed a couple of coffee cups in the sink behind the counterwhile I talked to her. "You ever hear of the expression, 'ignorance is bliss'?"
She raised a finger in the air. "I don't buy that, Hugo. Denial's not my thing."
"I would rather have heard from Greg's lips."
She shook her head. "I don't think he would have told you, especially after...aaw, never mind."
"What do you mean, 'never mind.' Never mind what? Towel please." She threw over a dish towel. But didn't answer.
"Look, it wasn't your place to make that judgment."
"Excuse me for caring about you."
"Oh, please. Caring about me! You just ruined my day, Fran."
Shocked, she asked me how she managed to do that.
"Nobody likes to hear that one of their closest friends is aliar."
Fran had just spent the last half hour sharing the Saga of Steveand Greg with me and just about every thought I could have ranthrough my head.
FIRST STAGE: DENIAL AND ISOLATION.
Fran must have misunderstood Greg. Greg wasn't the most succinctof speakers. Maybe she heard him talking about how cute Steve wasand assumed, because it was Greg, that they'd made the beast withtwo backs.
Dammit, why does this crap always happen to me and nobody else?
SECOND STAGE: ANGER.
No, Fran wasn't mistaken. Anybody who knew Greg knew that he worehis ankles for earrings every time a pretty body walked by.
But Greg? That idiot? Greg is pretty but, so empty-headed! Idon't think he even knows what a book is, let alone ever read one.
Fucking mattress-backed bitch. I'll never talk to him again.
THIRD STAGE: BARGAINING.
I'll never talk to him again.
Unless he promises never to lie to me again.
And my massages are free for the rest of his life.
FOURTH STAGE: DEPRESSION.
Not that I need any more of that one.
Greg gets to see Steve naked. He holds him in ways that Stevewould never allow me to hold him. He has watched the expressionon Steve's face when he comes. Heard the steady sleep sounds ofhis breathing at night.
Greg gets to kiss him without being pushed away.
FIFTH STAGE: ACCEPTANCE.
There was a time where our relationship meant something. But notnow. Greg's betrayal of my trust killed that. He'd just have toaccept it.
I got out my screw driver, went up to the stained glass windowthat Greg bought me out of guilt and yanked it out of its framing.
A cool breeze blew into the shop through the open hole. I'd patchit later.
Greg could keep the goddamn window. I didn't want it anymore.
