Steve and I stood in the back office of Mocha Daze, looking away from each other.
While I missed the book chats and still cared about how he was doing, the boy obviously had problems. I didn't want another problem child on my hands. Not with Eric, Fran, Andrew, Mike and Greg around.
Still, I missed going to the used bookstores with somebody who read something a little more challenging than "Drummer" magazine.
"Apology accepted."
"I-I don't really know why I said the things I did." He started wiping at the perspiration collecting on his forehead. "I t-totally over-reacted. I got scared. You didn't do anything mean to me. I don't know what happened. Please forgive me."
"Steve, it hurt me, but only briefly." I folded my arms and looked him in the eye. "No offense, but I figured it was your loss."
The next moment was a strange one.
He closed his eyes and leaned towards me. Out of habit, I puckered up and leaned in for a make-up smooch. His eyes opened, his body stiffened, and he looked like he was being electrocuted in front of me.
His hands flew up, pushed into my chest and shoved me. Not hard, more like he was pushing himself away from something he wanted but was afraid of.
"No, I can't. I'm sorry. It wouldn't be right."
"Wouldn't be right? Steve..."
"Sorry. I can't...I can't." He stopped, distraught and breathing heavily, then grabbed his head and rubbed at his temples. Water flooded into his eyes. "Oh, god. My head. Do you...have...aspirin?"
I pulled open the drawer of my desk and popped a few capsules out of the plastic container into my hand. "Let me get you some water."
I gave him the aspirin and the water. He didn't say anything, just leaned against the wall, his face white and drawn from the pain. He ran his fingers through his hair, knocking a curl or two into his face.
He was really quite beautiful. There was something about the curve of his nose, the gentle rise of his cheekbones that seemed oddly familiar for a moment, but that passed.
We walked back into the front of the shop and Kurt was sitting there. He flashed a big grin.
Steve stopped in the doorway and suddenly sagged at the knees. I grabbed his elbow to keep him from keeling over face first into the cash register.
Kurt quickly stood up, ready to help. "Whoa. You okay?"
"I'm fine. I just need...to get home."
"Steve," I said. "Let me give you a ride."
"I just need some air." He pulled away from me and moved forward, crossing the street before the door had even closed.
"What was that all about?" asked Kurt.
"Not sure. We were talking and he got kind of weird."
"Is he your lover?" he asked, nonchalantly.
Like I wouldn't notice.
"No."
"He use drugs?"
"I don't think so," I said. "No. That would surprise me."
"World is full of surprises, Hugo."
