I swore to myself I wouldn't answer the phone. I knew it wasn't Alex.
It was THEM.
This would be the fourth time they've called today. How'd they get my work phone?
RING.
Why were they doing to this to me? All I wanted to do today was fantasize about "the beautiful, Alex." I didn't deserve this.
RING.
"TIGre designs," I said into the phone. "Fran speaking."
"Hi, Frannie," said Gloria through the receiver. "It's me, again."
I held the phone in my hand and steamed. In my head I said, 'Hi, Mrs. Espinoza, Your darling Eric, my loving boyfriend, is a queer, and I'm a big ol' stomping dyke!!!! He's living with his lover, Andrew, and paying me to be his beard while you and Marco are visiting him. I also have a real job to do, so why don't you leave me alone?'
On the phone, I said, "Hi, Gloria."
"Are you busy?"
I looked at the ever growing stack on my desk. "Nope. I'm just sitting here doing nothing. Why do you ask?"
"Marco and I wanted to take you and Eric out for dinner tonight."
Dinner? No way Jose. I want to get my life back. There's an aerobics class and a fine young woman happening tonight and I'm going to be there.
I should have just let Eric twist in the wind. Why's he so afraid? His parents seem nice enough and they love him. It might be awkward at first, it always is, but they're not the type to disown him.
I don't get it. Eric's this doctor, he makes a wad of money, he's okay-looking (for a guy), he's got a great lover and still he's ashamed of who he is?
I'm outta here. No more.
Starting right now, he's on his own.
"I can't," I said.
"Too bad. I was telling Marco how happy Eric seems with you."
"That's nice..."
"You're such a wonderful girl..."
"Thank you. I really must go."
"I think Eric's getting ready to propose."
"What?"
"We went to a jewelry store and looked at engagement sets."
"What?"
"I'm going to let you go now. Bye!"
"What?!"
CLICK
"What?!?!"
DIALTONE
"WHAT!?!?!?" screamed Eric.
"You heard me. Your future wife is calling it off. If you're too chicken to come out to your folks, that's your problem! Not mine!"
He looked at me, with nothing left to say.
"You're right," Eric said. "I still need your help, though."
"What for?!?! No!"
"Because....we have to break up!! I'll pay you another $150.00."
More silence. "All right.."
I hung up the phone, feeling like I'd just walked through toxic waste.
RING.
"TIGre designs..."
"Hi, Frannie..."
Here we go, again.
