That was only part of the message I left with Mark Fitzgerald's secretary.
The rest I told him in person when I got to his office at 9:15 in the morning.
"Mark, I know about you and Andrew, I know about your past and that there's some unfinished business there -- that's precisely the reason why I want you to be working on this case for him. If he has to take the stand, he's going to need someone who cares about him. I don't care about anything else but getting this lunatic Rudy Marinaro locked up."
Mark got up and closed his door, offering me to sit down.
And suddenly it was a month ago, New Year's Eve and there we were in that jam-packed place with balloons and confetti pouring down on us and he was on me. I closed my eyes, just like that night. I paused and then opened them-- seeing Mark staring me down from across his desk.
The silence in the room was deafening. Were we both thinking about New Year's Eve or were we truly concerned about my lover's safety?
Mark turned his swivel chair and faced the huge picture window behind him, staring at the adjacent office building across the street and the honeycomb of office windows. He was thinking.
Of our kiss?
"Rudy Marinaro could be anywhere right now," exclaimed Mark. "He could be in some office over there-- obsessing-- watching. I want to help you and Drew, but I don't want to get involved in your personal relationship. Drew and I do have a history and I think maybe it'd be better if you went with another attorney."
He still kept his back to me. Why wouldn't he turn around? The silence in the room had been replaced with an obvious tension.
"You want me to beg, Mark?"
I knew that would get him to turn around. And it did.
"You know Eric, I'm trying to help you-- all of us. Don't get snide."
His brown eyes stared me down with burning intensity. Silence. I nodded, retreating-- until...
"Then...yes or no?" I asked.
"As long as we understand each other and our dynamics involved-- yes-- I'd like to help."
Our dynamics involved? What an interesting choice of words. Was he flirting and saying he really wanted to help me?
The intercom BUZZED and he stood up, extending his arm. We shook hands-- our eyes unwavering.
"Thank you." I said as his secretary BUZZED him again.
I have no idea how long I was in there, or how long I'd been sitting in my car in the underground garage under Mark Fitzgerald's building. Thinking about Mark's eyes and our "dynamics."
I could understand Drew's attraction to him. His cool intensity was erotic.
I finally turned the key and drove.
On my way back to work, I realized what had actually happened up there in his office.
We didn't want to talk.
We wanted to kiss.
