My notes on the New Year, done in an arty way to draw attention to my cleverness:
Never go to New Year's parties! (Too many annoying people.)
Everyone would be better off making sure that they're snuggled next to somebody delectable for their Midnight Kiss, but, if you must go...
Wear something fashionable to impress the shallow people impressed by such things, but, for heaven's sake, make sure it's something that won't suddenly be outrŽ at 12:01 a.m.
You think it's cute to get drunk, take off your clothes and dance on the table wearing a lampshade? Honey, it's been done!
Express yourself next year--Say all the things to all the people that you've always wanted to say things to.
Assholes drink and drive. 'Nuf said?
Resolutions are made to be broken. Make a big list so you'll have a few left over.
Safe sex is the best sex, so play safely--a gentle reminder from your friends at Pour Homme, hidden someplace between the phone sex and massage ads.
Everyone come to Mocha Daze! How many times do I have to tell you?
Virgins. (This has absolutely nothing to do with New Year's, but I couldn't think of anything starting with a "V." Besides, when's the last time you saw that word in a magazine other than "Christianity Today" or "Young Miss"?)
Experience the best and happiest year of your life in 1996!
Now, if you intend on ignoring my advice about parties, how about a hot suggestion?
Danny Blechmann's follow-up to his festive toga Christmas will be a huge GAY-la for New Year's, once again at our favorite dance club, DARK HORSE.
In fact, I am going against my own advice about year-end parties and attending. I'll be emceeing up in the DJ booth, encouraging the go-go boys to do a strip for us at midnight, while "Little" Ricky D will be playing all the latest techno hits, as well as his own special mix of 70's disco. All profit will be going to various AIDS charities around town, so the cause is a good one.
T.T.F.N.!
