"I need you to do the fittings today," said Bylle, the costume designer. Weāve worked together a couple of times, and she loves me because I make her job easy -- I do it for her. Immediately, I protested. I hated doing fittings for day players. They all had immeasurable egos; and I constantly had to remind them that, although they may be "queen for the day," I controlled their wardrobe destiny -- especially in a podunk exploitation film.
"I was expecting to deal with some brainless bimbos yāknow?" I told Hugo after work at the coffee shop. "And then this petite brunette comes traipsing in wearing a red elf cap with a jingle bell."
"So?," said Hugo.
"She was actually really nice. Like she was a real person, and not some a-c-t-r-e-s-s," I said trying my best Glenn Close doing Gloria Swanson impression.
"Do you need me to take my shirt off?" she asked me before I could put my water bottle down.
"Not before I introduce myself," I choked, wiping off the H20 that insisted on clinging to my chin. "Iām Fran." She was about my age, shorter than me, about 5ā4". I guessed her measurements for fun: 34-28-31. This girl has no hips.
"Oh. Iām Tammy," she said, a little embarrassed. "My parents loved Sandra Dee."
"Donāt worry about it, I got named after a Gidget movie," I joked. "Iām lucky they didnāt name me Moondoggie." We laughed. She had a nice laugh, very natural, not self conscious. And then she started unbuttoning her shirt.
"Yeah, so?!?! Then what?" asked Hugo, on the edge of his seat.
"So nothing. She stripped to her [undies], flirted a little and then we did our thing." I said, just a little coy. I love getting Hugo riled up like this -- it makes him crazy when he thinks heās not getting the whole juicy story. "And you know the surprise?"
"What? What?" he said. "Sheās married with children."
"Nope. Sheās a dyke and single," I said very satisfied with myself and thinking about the next fitting with Tammy.....
