So, of course it was natural to give Hugo "Baby New Year" for Christmas.
"Surprise!" shouted Baby New Year (AKA Ralph), as he stepped into Hugoās office at the Mocha Daze. Ralph is a stunning anatomical specimen, and Greg and I thought it was time Hugo got back in the saddle. And what better time to get him back then, well, the end of the year.
"What the hell are you guys doing here??!" he squealed, in fright not in delight. "I thought someone was breaking in !"
"Well, weāre not, so if you donāt mind putting the gun away!!!" screamed Greg. Hugo was pointing a long barreled firearm towards Gregās chest.
"Itās a fucking water gun Hugo!" I cried. "What do you think you were gonna do? Wet us to death?"
Hugo lowered the gun and then glanced at Ralph. "I donāt know, but I think your friend may wet himself just fine..." Poor studly Baby New Year was crying silently in his silk diapers.
Greg leaned over and comforted him. "Itās okay Ralph, really. Itās okay."
"I-Iām s-sorry...he scared the shit out of me," he whined.
"Thatās okay. Iāll change your diaper for you."
"Hey!" I said. "Clean it up. Itās Christmas for cryinā out loud. Merry Christmas, Hugo." I gave him a hug and motioned to Baby New Year. "I know youāve always wanted children, so Greg and I brought you a baby for Christmas."
Hugoās face lit up and he cried out, "Well, then come to MAMA you baby boy!" He disentangled Greg from Ralph and took the diapered stud in his arms and gave him a big fat kiss on the cheek. For the rest of my days I will picture Hugo holding Ralph on his lap -- a bizarre vision of Madonna and Child.
Ralph recovered, and discovered he in fact didnāt wet himself. He did a rendition of "Santa Baby" and we - Greg, Hugo, and me, and Ralph exchanged presents.
Merry Christmas!
