"Here honey," Hugo came over with a triple shot espresso. "This'll keep your spirits wired."
"Thanks, Hugs." He leaned over and gave me a big fat kiss and a hug. I love Hugo. He's one of the good guys. A voice that would make Harvey Fierstein proud, an attitude larger than Dolly Parton's wigs, and a heart as golden as the rule itself. That makes up for the fact that he's got the biggest mouth this side of the Rocky Mountains and picks up tidbits of rumor and gossip like a bloodhound picking up scents in the air.
"So, who is this charming fellow Greg's baiting now??? Hmm?" Hugo asked with a gleam in his eye. "I heard when they met he went to shake this guy's hand and shook his wanky instead!"
"Ha! That's pretty funny. But I have no idea. All I know is that this guy needs a place to live and I need a roomie who can pay the rent."
"Can't argue with that, sweetie. Take it from your, muh-thah, living in sin is no good. It's gives you heartburn, if you know what I mean."
"Thanks Mama Hugo. I'll remember next time."
At that moment, Greg came prancing in with his new "subject," a tall, dark, handsome, bad news looking dude in a black leather jacket. He was straight. I could tell from the pony tail. Only straight men are still wearing pony tails these days. I saw how Greg was fawning over him. Gregory was pretty much glowing at this point, like he had found the human holy grail, and for that, I instantly distrusted the guy. Plus he had that straight guy look. You know, the look straight guys get when the see a dyke and think, 'There's nothing wrong with her that I'm not man enough to straighten out.'
"Mike this is Fran. Fran, Mike."
"So, should I shake your hand or your wanky?" I asked, trying to break the ice.
Greg and turned beet red and looked mortified. The dude let out a belly laugh.
"You smart ass, how do you know that?" pleaded Greg.
"You should know better than to confide in Hugo. He was looking for material for his next column -- it's been a light news week y'know." I laughed.
Then Hugo came over, and when Mike extended his hand, Hugo slapped it away and said, "No way buster. I wanna shake your other hand!" and laughed his way back across the floor. Mike seemed to get a kick out of it, as Greg tried to blend into the seat. 
