"You'll just get yourself all ground up like a pepper corn," he said. "You don't need their help! You've got some money in the bank, right?"
"Yeah, some," I said. "It's a miracle, but I do."
"Then what do you need to call your family for? They're just gonna tell you you're going to hell anyway."
"Yeah," I said, feeling fiercely independent. "I can get by!" Then reality struck at the moment of my liberation. "Yeah. I can pay rent, but I'll sit in the dark and starve because I won't have enough to pay for food and utilities."
It seemed like a good idea yesterday, calling my family to ask for a little financial help. Actually it was the only idea. What's that saying? "Desperate times call for desperate measures" -- something like that... Well, I was a little desperate. I mean, what's a family for, except grief and heartache?
But as I stand here, trying to keep my blood from boiling over, I realize I underestimated my family's sheer ignorance. My older sister, Ruth, answered the phone and I politely asked for Daddy. Twice.
"He doesn't want to come to the phone."
"Bullshit, Ruthie. I want to talk to Dad." I was getting impatient.
"Why can't you think of anyone else but yourself? Aren't you ashamed? Don't you realize that this is an embarrassment?" My blood was rushing.
I managed to keep myself in check until she started giving me the biblical lecture. So, I had to remind Ruth that her namesake from the Bible was a big ol' STOMPING DYKE!!!!! She didn't appreciate that remark.
Then I had to hang up because I was so pissed-off I felt ill. 'Calm down, Fran' I said to myself. 'Just chill out, chill out, chill....out.'
Times like this, I hate being freelance. There are films starting up in a couple of weeks, but who knows? I'm not working until I'm working.
"Damn you, Christine!" I screamed at the walls. "Damn you for dumping me, and leaving without paying the freaking rent!!"
And then I heard someone behind me and turned around.
"I'm sorry," she said.
