There comes a time in your life, when things reach a place of simplicity. I'm thirty-five years old. I have things. I have things to think about. I have problems at work, I wonder if I'm capable of an honest, truthful, monogamous relationship. I wonder where I'll be in ten years. If I'll be happy, if I'll be successful, if I'll be alive...

And then -- it arrives. That time, that time in the day, that time in the week when it's...it's just simple. That time is now. Heās in my arms, here with me under the covers. Our minds are in synch, our souls are touching, our bodies intertwined, don't stop moving. His mouth is on mine, then I feel his teeth trace my jawline, moving around to chew on the back of my neck.

"I love that, Eric. Don't stop, I love it..."

Then he moves to an ear, either ear, and whispers, "I'm gonna take you now, Drew. Tell me you want me, Drew. Tell me to do it....tell me, Drew."

"Yes, Eric. God, I love this, I love you. Yes. Yes. I want you."

This is when I know I am gay -- and I celebrate being gay. I'm Act Up, I'm Larry Kramer. .I'm Andrew McKinley and Iām in love with Eric Lewis.

He is on me; he is in me. My lover.

"Yes, Eric....slow. Slow," I purr.

Easily, effortless, hard and sure. I taste the wine from Mendocino and mint mouthwash. I taste the future, the present, the now. We move faster and he pushes harder, deeper.

"I love you, Andrew. I love you, Andrew!" he exhales into me.

This is lovemaking. The real thing. I am still amazed I'm able to do that sometimes, to make love. To be courageous enough to show him exactly and totally who I am.

He picks me up, standing, my legs around him. We stop, catching ourselves in the mirror -- a single animal caught in The Act. We almost laugh at the frankness of the sight of us, joined. Joined. He looks in my eyes. He's close, he's close, he's close....

He says, "I love you, Drew" deep, low, guttural. And silently -- he goes.

I'm moving in with the man I love more than I've ever loved in the world. Wow! This is a Kodak moment.