Juliet stood next to me.
"Children," she said. "Can I have your attention please."
They all stopped their shrieking and suddenly stood there like angels.
"That's a good class. This is Mr. Orlando. He'll be your new teacher."
"Good Afternoon, Mr. Orlando," they all said as one.
"Hey," I said. This is going to be easy, I thought to myself. These kids are nice enough, all I have to do is teach them to spin for an hour and then I'm out of here.
How wrong I was.
As soon as Juliet left the room, it became clear that demons possessed these kids.
One girl spun herself around in circles until she puked on my dance shoe. She couldn't have done it over in the corner where she was spinning. No, she had to weave her way across the floor and throw up on me.
Another girl punched the only boy in class in the stomach.
It seems that they had been girlfriend and boyfriend until he started liking the barf queen.
I was in the middle of pulling these two apart when I heard "Catch me."
I turned to see the fattest girl in class flying towards me, feet first.
I caught her, but one of her feet hits me right in the testes.
I crumpled over in pain.
All the kids saw me on the floor and piled on top of me, giggling.
I looked at my watch through the sea of wriggling arms and legs.
Only five minutes had passed.
God is punishing me, I thought. He's up there in heaven looking at my file and going, "Let's see what sort of wrath I can bring down on this guy. A river of blood? No. Plague of frogs? Locusts? No sir. Thunderbolt. These things are all to wimpy. My wrath shall be mighty. I shall send down upon him the full fury at my command. I shall send down the curse of five year olds."
Fifty-five minutes later I was saved.
Or so I thought.
Because outside waiting for me was all these kids' mothers.
Each one bellowing in my ear how their kid was going to be the next Nureyev or whoever. Their mouths full of eclairs from the bakery next door.
After they all left, Juliet walked up to me. "Your next class is waiting for you."
As in all horror movies. I looked skyward and screamed.
