"Any particular reason you stopped by?" I asked, spotting a new earthquake crack in the wall I had never noticed.
"Yes."
The color in her voice made me look at her. It was strong and knowing.
We sat a few more moments as I followed the crack in the wall. Finally, I must of let down my guard because she crossed over to me, lay on top of me, and gently kissed my lips. However, for the first time I sensed in her an insecurity.
A risk.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"For what?" I asked, looking into her eyes-- sensing the sadness-- the fear.
"Fran I have to tell you something and I hope it doesn't change our relationship." Was I about to get dumped? Was I about to be proposed to?
"Because you've been making me feel great," she added.
"Okay."
"But you have to promise me you'll just keep it between us-- even if you don't agree with it-- even if you never want to speak to me again." Her eyes were sincere. "It would ruin me."
"Then why tell me?"
"Because then you'll understand Fran and I want you to understand. I wantyou to understand me."' She looked more beautiful than anyone I had ever seen. Suddenly, I felt insecure.
"Yeah...go ahead."
"Just let me finish before you say anything." She fell to my side and I held herhead in my hand. "Fran, I don't really work for Tigre. I work for Future Designs."
I wanted to question her, but I honored her request. She was having a hard time looking at me.
"I am at Tigre to investigate and evaluate the competition.
I could stay silent no longer. "Investigate and evaluate?"
She paused, trying to find the right words, suddenly looking like a desperate politician rallying for votes. So I decided to say it. "You're at Tigre to steal designs, is that it? So you're saying I can't trust you?" I could tell my question choked.
"Fran, if I didn't want your trust, why would I tell you this?" Sheseemed genuine-- but then I reminded myself so did Ronald Reagan at the beginning.
"Let me get this straight," I said. "When you backed me up, it was because you wanted L'Atrice to trust you?"
"Yeah, I guess that's right."
"This is crazy. So now you expect me to go to work and not say anything?"
"Fran, not everything is black and white. You think L'Atrice is going to help you get ahead? It was me that manipulated her into letting you draw. She would have never noticed you."
"You don't know that."
But I knew she was right. It's not the idealistic world I once thought it was. Perhaps I was growing up and accepting people for what they truly were. Or was I becoming numb?
"Okay," I said "I'll stay out of your way."
She caressed the right side of my face and neck. "Not completely out of my way I hope."
I paused-- realizing I had deep feelings for this woman.
She had me, no question.
